"France"

When I was about four years old, living as a middle class second son of a middle class Jewish, Bronx family, I was fortunate enough to attend the Dunham Day School. I have no memory of the school, other than a bad one. There was a parents' day at the school and I had memorized a French poem called, "Maitre Renard" which I was to recite at a special presentation for the parents. There I was getting ushered onto a stage in my short pants, white shirt, tie, and a matching jacket to recite this poem, which I could have done in my sleep. But, for some strange reason I decided not to say anything once I was on stage. I stood there totally mute as my teacher prompted me with the first few words of the poem. I was determined not to utter a sound and my teacher came in from the wings and dragged me off stage. Having, I expect, harmed the moment for my teacher, she proceeded to slap me across the face and admonish me for being a "stubborn little brat", which of course I was.

This was the first of many bad experiences that I had with French, as a language, as a country, and as a people. I studied French in high school and could never get a decent grade, and I have since taken private lessons from Berlitz and have managed at best to order a croissant in France without being deported by the Minister of Culture for mispronouncing my order.

Business travel took me to France in the mid-60's and I was fortunate enough to stay at the best hotels and eat at the finest restaurants, yet be intimidated by every reception manager, maitre'd, and concierge that I came in contact with. It got to be so bad for me, and I was so uncomfortable in France, that I would fly to London on business and make day trips to Paris and return to the safety of my English hotel each evening where I was only slightly less intimidated by the staff.

At age 11 my daughter Eileen traveled to Europe and while visiting Paris proceeded to announce, "I love it here and when I graduate from college, I'm going to move to Paris and spend the rest of my life here". In 1988, she stayed true to those words and moved to France. Sure enough in 1993 she married Gilles, a Frenchman, at the Neuilly City Hall where the Deputy Mayor performed a beautiful civil ceremony. The Deputy Mayor made a short speech following the ceremony. He spoke of two generations of American mothers and fathers who sent their children to Europe, in harm's way, to defend France during one war and liberate France during another. He personalized it by saying that an American platoon had saved him from execution at the hands of the Gestapo, and that he was forever grateful to the American troops who came to France's aid. Almost everyone cried when he went on to say how disappointed he was with his countrymen, so many of whom were anti-American in their attitude and behavior.

In 1984, I spent six weeks with my family in a rented, left bank house in Paris and thoroughly enjoyed being there. It was only on rare occasion that I felt any hint of the people disliking me because I was an American.

There has been an incredible outcry in America, disparaging the French for not supporting the incipient American invasion of Iraq. Did we do all of the things we were said to have done for the French in the 20th century? Absolutely. Do the French have a history of Anti-Americanism? Certainly. Have they behaved badly in the past, pertaining to the support of American interests? Yes.

Having said all of this, I find it incredible that so many Americans wish to deny the French their right of dissent and disagreement with the American policies pertaining to Iraq. They are standing up as every sovereign nation has the right to do, and not support the United States. Are they acting out of principle or are they acting out of their own economic interests? It doesn't really matter.

If the Iraqis were actually attacking America (with or without weapons of mass destruction), I would think it improper for the French not to assist us. Had the 9/11 terrorists been Iraqis, rather than Saudis, and had the links between Al Qaeda and Iraq been far more significant than even the American administration claims, I would expect the French to assist us. Had our President said something other than, "If you're not with us, you're against us", perhaps things would have been different.

Is there a "statute of limitations" on the "we helped France, ergo France must help us"? Is there a similar "statute" wherein the Japanese attacked us, when do we get over it? Society has placed upon our world a series of rules and expectation and as a still rebellious 70 year old, I have difficulty in blindly following ALL of the rules and ALL of the "shoulds".

Under the circumstances, I see no reason not to visit France, eat French cheese, drink French wine, or date French women.

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